On Grief...

I’m writing to you today from a place of numbness and confusion. There is so much going on for me individually and in the world collectively. I was genuinely surprised by the outcome of the referendum, and feel hollow, overwhelmed, and worried about residing in a bubble of society where YES felt very possible. Even writing this right now I am overcome with confusion, knowing to some extent, the inherent complexity of this issue. It makes it really hard to know how to feel.

I am currently participating in a training by Francis Weller on how to hold Grief Rituals. Francis is the author of the book “The Wild Edge of Sorrow”, which outlines the 5 gates of grief.

It is probably the most meaningful thing I am learning at the moment. It feels increasingly relevant to be able to bring people together to share grief. We are only in month two of a five month training and I am struggling with impatience. I feel the need for this space to be created so desperately.

My habitual tendency is to jump in and just to do it anyway, and my learning edge is in waiting until the work has ripened within me.

And so it will not be until the end of the training that I hold such a space for grief, however in the meantime I would like to offer you some rituals and exercises that you can do to be with your feelings or your numbness in response to our global context.


SOME EXERCISES TO BE WITH GRIEF

1. Writing prompts: Take one (or more) of these writing prompts. Set a timer (or don’t) and continue writing without pause. You may like to share what you have written with a close friend (with or without their feedback).
   

• I remember
  
• I mourn
  
• I miss
  
• I wish someone would ask me
  
• I want to linger
  
• Goodbye
  

2. Individual Ritual of Grief: Instruction for this ritual adapted from one by Francis Weller here.


3. Coming together in Ritual: Remember we are not meant to suffer alone. Please reach out to friends in an informal way or ask them to gather together with intention to hold all that is arising for each of you. A friend of mine, Hannah, has been holding tea ceremonies for our friendship group to sit with grief together. Remember you are the change you want to see.


What I am also offering currently is half price 1:1 sessions for the next month. Please reach out if you would like to be held in this way for all that is arising in you. Please remember your own individual problems are valid, even when there are other things happening on a larger scale.


May you have courage in your heart, my friend.
I hope to see you soon.
With love
Sophia